I struggle with confidence every day, I’m guessing you do too? So, how do you go about improving your self-confidence? I’m going to show you how – using these 10 tips for improving self-confidence.
But first, a little back-story.
Although I’m much more confident than I used to be – it’s a daily battle – I’m still nowhere near as confident as I want to be.
It’s been a long journey to get where I am today and it’s a constant power struggle: a continual fight for supremacy in my own brain over who gets to take control today: my more confident, positive self, or the inferiority-complex-riddled, self-deprecating, imposter-syndrome-infused, cess-pool-minded, curmudgeon.
My default mindset, it seems, is almost always negative, or sarcastic – usually about myself – followed by my more positive, kind and considerate self, stepping in afterwards to do a salvage operation and to clear away the detritus left behind in the wake of my brain tsunami.
I know that positive thinking is good for mental health – conversely, I know negative thinking is bad for mental health, but my brain just seems to be wired up automatically to go to a dark place first: It’s only when I’ve had a few seconds or minutes to process things properly, that I can step back and see sense.
It’s only then that my more rational brain starts to step in, like a best mate in bar fight, and steps forward to calm everybody down:
“Will everyone just calm the f*ck down!”
I’ve learned some techniques along the way which have helped me greatly in calming my mind and helped me talk more positively and kindly to my inner-self.
These are the tips I want to share with you today.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you can just do them once and everything will be magically fixed.
Oh no!
It takes time, patience and effort to keep reaffirming these positive thoughts to yourself.
But I’m sure you’ll agree that the effort will be worth it: If you can quiet those horrible, debilitating, toxic and nasty words you keep telling yourself over and over again, you will start to break free from that negative mindset.
It can be a slow process, but I’m proof that it does work.
For me, the problem was I was coming from such a low, negative place: My mind was at the bottom of a very deep, dark, mental black hole that no positive thinking could ever hope to get out of.
I have slowly, tiny-piece-by-tiny-piece, rebuilt my mind, over several years and I am finally reaping the rewards for it.
I’m not saying it will take as long for you of course: it depends on your own personal circumstances and how much you believe in the process.
But coming from one of the most sarcastic, negative-thinking individuals on the planet, I can tell you that it DOES work.
I am proof!
So, if you can follow me on this journey – you will start to think more positively about yourself and, in turn, your confidence will start to sky-rocket!
How Do I Improve My Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is a quality that’s as crucial as it is elusive for many.
At its core, self-confidence is about trusting in your own abilities, qualities, and judgment.
It’s vital for your personal growth, serving as the foundation for a fulfilling life brimming with opportunities and wellbeing.
Don’t worry too much about the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem; the two are closely intertwined.
While self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself – how much you appreciate and like yourself – self-confidence is about your belief in your ability to accomplish tasks.
The more solid the self-esteem, the more unwavering the self-confidence you can develop.
You’re going to find tips and transformational strategies that can turn the tides on how you perceive yourself.
This isn’t just about a temporary boost or quick fixes; it’s about long-lasting changes that elevate your life to the next level.
And remember, you can always adjust your approach down the road as you gain insights and experience.
Nurturing self-confidence is a journey that takes patience and perseverance.
It’s about small, consistent efforts that add up to big results over time.
So, if you want to start on the path to becoming your own biggest advocate, keep reading.
The next section is jam-packed with practical tips for improving self-confidence, precisely what you need to set the stage for a stronger, more assured you.
Table of Contents
Embracing Individuality: Tips for Improving Self-Confidence
Your unique journey is something to be celebrated, not compared with others.
The trap of social comparison can lead to a harmful game of constant measurement against peers, which often results in lowering your self-esteem.
Instead of looking at others and wondering why you’re not the same, focus on what makes you stand out.
Is it your sense of humour, your resilience, your creativity?
Whatever it is, acknowledge it, own it, and let it bolster your self-confidence.
The people you choose to surround yourself with play a critical role in influencing how you feel about yourself.
That’s why it’s crucial to foster relationships with those who uplift you rather than drag you down.
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with friends, family, and colleagues.
If you’re left feeling energised and positive, you’re on the right track.
If not, it might be time to re-evaluate those connections for the sake of your self-confidence.
Taking care of your body is taking care of your mind. It’s hard to feel confident if you’re run down or not treating your body well.
Regular exercise, nutritionally balanced meals, adequate sleep, and practices like meditation can significantly lift your mood and improve your view of yourself.
When you start treating your body as the remarkable machine it is, you’ll feel a newfound appreciation for its capabilities and your confidence will likely follow suit.
Even the most self-assured individuals have moments of self-doubt, and that’s completely natural.
What’s important is how you address those moments.
Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a close friend.
When you stumble, instead of self-criticism, try offering up some self-compassion.
Practice acknowledging mistakes without judgment and moving forward with lessons learned.
Last but not least, the dialogue you have with yourself can either be a powerful tool for growth or a destructive force.
Positive self-talk is about challenging those nagging doubts and fears with supportive and affirming messages.
Remember, your thoughts can shape your reality.
By consciously steering those thoughts towards encouragement and realistic optimism, you’re laying down the foundation for improved self-confidence.
Actionable Steps for Building Your Confidence
So you’re looking to boost your self-confidence?
Well, you’ve come to the right place.
The crux of building self-confidence lies in actively stepping out of your comfort zone and recognising your achievements, big or small.
This isn’t just about feeling good in the moment, it’s also about setting the stage for a more confident future.
Facing your fears is one of those things that’s easier said than done. But you know what? It’s one of the most empowering actions you can take.
Start small: maybe strike up a conversation with a stranger, or sign up for a class you’ve been interested in.
These experiences, while potentially daunting, are going to include valuable lessons and opportunities for personal growth.
Now, doing things that play to your strengths can also do wonders for your confidence.
It’s like having a secret weapon.
When you engage in tasks you’re good at, it cements your sense of capability.
Choose something that resonates with you, maybe it’s painting, cooking, or coding – just dive in and let your talents shine.
Setting boundaries is also key.
Know when to say no.
If you’re like many people, you might have a bit of a hard time with this.
But don’t worry too much about it.
With practice, it becomes much easier to protect your time and energy, which in turn can boost your self-esteem.
Lastly, let’s talk goals.
When you set realistic goals and achieve them, you’re not only proving to yourself what you’re capable of, you’re also building a track record of success.
This is going to include setting clear, manageable objectives and knocking them out one by one.
And remember, it’s crucial to celebrate these victories – no matter how minor they may seem.
Nurturing Self-Esteem: A Pathway to Confidence
I’m going to walk you through some crucial steps to develop your self-esteem, which, in turn, is going to strongly support your confidence.
This isn’t just about feeling good in the moment; it’s also about building a solid foundation for future challenges and achievements.
First up, don’t worry too much about negative thoughts that creep in; every person experiences them.
What’s important is to challenge them.
Imagine a friend spoke to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself.
Would you consider it acceptable?
Most likely, not.
So why allow it for yourself?
Embrace a more forgiving inner dialogue.
Practising affirmations might feel awkward at first, but give it a try.
Choose something that resonates with you, something genuine and uplifting that you can tell yourself every day.
It’s like building mental muscle – the more you do it, the stronger it becomes.
Here are some examples, but please adapt them to suit your own personality:
- I am worthy of love, happiness, and success.
- I believe in myself and my capabilities.
- I am strong and resilient, and I can overcome challenges.
- I learn and grow from my mistakes, and they do not define me.
- I am surrounded by supportive people who believe in me.
- I am confident in my decisions and trust my intuition.
- I embrace my unique qualities and value my individuality.
- I am capable of achieving my goals and dreams.
- I choose to focus on the positive and celebrate my accomplishments.
- I am worthy of self-compassion and forgiveness.
Remember, repeating these affirmations regularly can help you internalise them and build up your self-confidence over time.
If these don’t connect with you, just try rearranging some of the words, or using alternative words that resonate with you more deeply: It can have a profound effect on their impact.
You can always adjust your approach down the road, and practising saying no is a part of that.
There’s a lot of opportunity in setting limits; it helps you stay true to your needs and conserves energy for what truly matters to you.
Social media is a notorious thief of joy when it comes to comparison.
Remember, what you’re seeing is often a curated, incomplete picture of someone else’s life.
Instead, focus that energy on doing something nice for yourself, something that makes you feel competent and accomplished.
Guess what?
They say recognising your positives is key.
Celebrate all your successes, no matter how small.
Jot down a compliment someone gave you, maybe even save it for a rainy day.
Or better yet, ask your friends or family what they appreciate about you – they could point out strengths that you’ve been completely overlooking.
This brings us to building a support network, and it’s essential.
Talking to someone you trust about your feelings can be incredibly freeing.
Surround yourself with positive relationships and explore peer support groups where you can connect with people who understand.
If you’re finding the weight of self-doubt too hot to handle, consider talking therapy.
Professionals can offer you techniques and strategies that might just be the lifeline you need to start swimming in the sea of self-confidence again.
And that sets the stage perfectly for the next section.
I’m going to show you how maintaining confidence isn’t a one-off event; it’s a journey.
It involves nurturing yourself, facing challenges and celebrating the small victories along the way.
So let’s get ready to look at how self-care and embracing new challenges can become your best allies in the quest for self-assured living.
Maintaining Confidence Through Self-Care and Challenges
Taking care of yourself and embracing challenges can maintain and even boost your self-confidence over time.
Think about it: when you’re physically and mentally at your best, you’re more likely to feel positive about your abilities and worth.
Choose something that resonates with you, whether it’s volunteering, learning a new skill, or simply setting small, achievable goals.
Each of these steps not only provides a sense of accomplishment but also reaffirms your capabilities and strengthens your belief in yourself.
Prioritising sleep and a balanced diet aren’t just for physical health—these habits play a significant role in how you feel about yourself.
Coupled with regular physical activity and spending time in nature, you create a foundation for a stable, confident mindset.
I really hope that you’ll give mindfulness or meditation a try.
Trust me, it’s not just about relaxation; it’s about developing a keen awareness of your thoughts and emotions, which is crucial for managing self-doubt and growing your self-esteem.
Finally, while it may be tempting to turn to substances for a quick confidence boost, remember that this is usually a temporary fix that can have long-term negative effects on your self-regard.
Instead, seek out healthy self-help resources that provide lasting support.
And always remember, experiencing moments of self-doubt is a universal part of the human experience.
It’s how you respond and what you do next that counts.
Just don’t focus too much on perfection.
Your first attempt doesn’t need to be your last, and progress, not perfection, is what truly matters.
Want to check out some other methods for improving self-confidence? Take your self-confidence to the next level with these other confidence-boosting tips. Check out the article here!
The Verdict
For someone who struggles with self-confidence, especially someone who feels so negatively about themselves, it’s so difficult to even begin to change.
You don’t feel worthy in the first place, so how do you even start to change?
Unfortunately, this is the difficult bit – the desire to change has to come from within – you have to want to change, otherwise you will keep sabotaging yourself.
Therefore, I will ask you only one, simple question: Are you happy the way you are?
If so, then please ignore this article.
Nothing to see here: Move along!
If not (and the fact you’re reading this article, suggests you’re not) then please give these techniques a try for a few weeks at the very least.
Ideally, they need to be practised all the time, but if you are sceptical, it can be hard to get your head around and it can feel a bit fake.
It will take a bit of practice to reprogramme your brain and start retraining your thought processes into a more positive outlook.
That’s not to say that negative thoughts will completely go away: it’s natural to have negative thoughts from time-to-time, everybody does – but it’s important to realise that you shouldn’t dwell on negative thoughts.
Simply notice that you have the negative thought, then try to replace it with a more positive one.
So yes, it can be an ongoing battle, but I can assure you, the more you practice these techniques, the easier and more beneficial they will become and the more you will start to believe them.
What Do You Think?
What struggles have you had with your self-confidence? Is there a particular aspect you wrestle with? Is it the way you look? Is it your health? Is it someone who belittles you? Some unkind words someone has said about you, or that you’ve said about yourself?
Let me know what you think in the comments below! Always remember that your unique perspective is what makes your experience personal to you. Thanks for reading and here’s to your more confident future!
Feel free to follow me if you enjoyed.
Thank you for reading this post. I hope you found it helpful and inspiring.
If you did, please follow me for more content like this. And if you want to learn more about how to use the power of your mind to create your own reality, join the MindLake MindLetter for exclusive bonuses and offers. Until next time!
All the best,
Alex
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